


No Peace in Quiet

by Kingshammer



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 06:00:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21156764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingshammer/pseuds/Kingshammer
Summary: When Danny lands at Silas, all she wants to remember is how to feel human again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! So I wanted to put something up that was seasonally appropriate considering Halloween is next week (woo!). I've been working on this one on and off for ages and I'm excited to finally post it. 
> 
> I just love Danny, so there's a lot of character study type elements in Chapter 1, whereas Chapter 2 picks up within the later parts of 'Maybe We Could Be Magic'. I don't think you necessarily need to read that one to follow this one, but it does fill in some of the gaps in this one. 
> 
> That being said...there are intentional loose ends in this one. Because leaving them there is motivation to keep writing. 
> 
> At any rate, I hope you enjoy :)

Danny doesn’t like Silas, when she first gets there. She’d ended up at the school on a whim. A random brochure and the desire to get as far away from home as possible all culminated in Danny stepping off a plane to  a  pleasantly accented voice encouraging passengers to ‘Please, enjoy your time in Austria'.

She'd brought along very little. A duffel bag  and a backpack. All she could  c all hers in the world .

The campus is filled with happy, laughing people. She sees parents hugging their children , f aces beam ing with unbridled pride. There are some happy tears and swear words as heavy boxes get hauled up ancient stone s teps .

She zones out as she walks, the map of campus memorized in her mind. It’s a habit, occasionally unfortunate, she's picked up in the years she’s adjusted to not hearing her own  parents ' laughter and her brother’s lighthearted teasing. 

She’s tall and  she’s  zoned out, dulling the voices around her, and so naturally she doesn’t see the RA until she turns a corner and about runs her over.

Danny’s attention  snaps to like a released rubber band and she can feel embarrassment heat up the back of her  neck. An ineloquent apology claws its way out of her throat.

The RA is gracious. Her  dirty blonde  hair is pulled into a loose pony tail. Her polo suggests she works for Silas Campus Housing. Turtle shell glasses frame kind hazel eyes and she smiles easily, the muscles in her face used to the movement.

She endures Danny's words and  awkwardness, and offers a soothing response.

A small eruption of laughter through an open door on the building nearest them pulls Danny away again. She doesn’t know it, but her gaze goes distant, like she’s staring at a  something  miles and years away .

The RA sees it, thinks she’s glimpsing something like  raw vulnerability in the tall young woman. Her smile  dims slightly ; no less genuine, but softer.

“Are you okay?” she asks gently. It’s the sincerity that pulls Danny back this time. Danny  isn’t ignorant to the reality she’s been difficult to deal with. People are sympathetic when you’ve lost your entire family at such a young age. But their gentleness only goes so far when they're on the receiving end of clipped words and discipline reports for fighting. They try to stay understanding, stay gentle, but the sincerity wears thin as exhaustion creeps in. Danny doesn’t remember the last person who spoke to her with such genuine concern.

Danny savors it and decides that this poor RA doesn’t really understand how loaded her question is. She entertains unburdening her convoluted thoughts of longing and sorrow over the surprisingly lonely experience of move - in day, and the underlying hope that she'll learn how to be human again. Her hope that her life will feel like it’s moving again, when all she’s felt is stagnation since she found out she’d lost everything.

She knows normal people don’t reveal their innermost secrets to strangers. And really, Danny doesn’t want to; she just finds humorless amusement in imagining this  well - meaning RA's expression if she realized how much of a walking catastrophe stood in front of her.

Danny plasters a smile on her face. She’s practiced this smile enough times to know it stands up to scrutiny; the only people who knew her well enough to have recognized it as fake are dead anyway.

“I’m f ine. I was a little distracted ,” she says. Her voice is even, with just the basest hint of shyness now; she  _ did _ almost run the woman over.

There’s a moment when Danny knows the RA doesn’t really believe her. But she sees the moment when the RA realizes it’s not polite to call strangers liars.

“ It's okay. Not the worst thing to happen on campus by far.  Do you need directions?” she asks, friendly and still sincere. Danny will bless her later for not asking ‘so who’s here to help you move in today?’

“No, I’m good. Next building is mine ,” Danny supplies. The RA nods.

“ You’re one of mine then. I help supervise the RA's in both these buildings. I’m Tristan,” and she holds out her hand. Danny marvels at being so readily claimed and then immediately pushes the thought aside. She shakes the woman's hand.

“Danny,” she supplies.  Tristan's smile stays genuine but her gaze is contemplative.

“I won’t hold you since it seems you need to get settled still. But if you need something, let me know. Most folks who have been around here for  a while know how to find me,” she offers. Danny maintains the placating smile.

“I’ll do that,” and she isn’t lying per sa y. She just doesn’t foresee a reality where she allows herself to need  anyone . If Tristan guesses this much (she does) she doesn’t let on.

“Welcome to Silas, Danny.”

/

Danny is a bit of a loner when she starts at Silas.  There  are a number of socials and events for new students. She doesn’t participate, despite the fact her roommate is kind and always invites her.

Danny’s roommate is an American military brat and the most genuinely kind person she’s ever met.  Danny reasons she has no reason to be so genially disposed. Over the first few weeks she learns that her roommate ’ s parents  are going through the kind of messy divorce that ruins everyone's relationships with everyone. 

Danny comes back from a late class in time to hear the other woman's mom call her an  ‘ ungrateful shit ’ for picking her father’s side. Her roommate is  tearfully responding  that she’s not on  _ anyone’s _ side when Danny comes through the door.

Danny freezes, eyes locking on her  roommate’s watery ones.  The other woman runs the heel of her palm roughly against her eyes before wrapping that arm proactively around her midsection. She turns away from Danny, endures a little more verbal abuse, before hanging up. She takes a shuddering breath.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” she says shakily. Danny shakes her head but realizes her roommate  can’t see. She steps forward instead, placing her bag on her bed.

“I'm sorry she said those things to you. I don’t know how you just… take  it,” Danny says. And it’s one of the deepest sentiments she’s expressed in a while. The corner of her roommate’s lips  turn up.

“She’s my mom. She’s not perfect and neither am I. Fortunately she doesn’t really have anything to do with my life regularly. I just have to remind myself she's wrong about me ,”  she shrugs. A nd  Danny realizes this is a type of bravery. Endurance in the  face of adversity , of abuse.

“I think that says a lot about you,” Danny says quietly.  And in an unprecedented  move , she initiates a side hug. Her  roommate doesn’t question it (although years later, when she reminisces about school with Danny, she’ll let the other woman know how floored she was about the gesture) and  wraps her arms around Danny's waist and squeezes back.

“It’s not about what she deserves. It’s about who I want to be,” the woman , Ashlynn,  says quietly . Danny contemplates that thought and decides she likes the way it feels, and so, like a vine, it settles and wraps itself around her subconscious.

/

Tristan ends up keeping tabs on Danny. It’s not something she'd planned on but Danny  stands out, even though it seems that's exactly what she's trying to avoid.

At first Tristan's interest is passing. When she sees the young woman, she wonders about her and where she come s from. Tristan is the teacher’s assistant in Danny's English class, so she entertains these musings roughly three times a week.

It isn't until about a month into the semester, when Tristan reads Danny's first paper, that she decides Danny is someone she wants to know.

Danny rarely volunteers to speak in class, but she’s one of the few who you can tell  is invested. And the paper is a more compelling discussion on the family dynamics in  _ The Tempest  _ than she's seen out of some senior literature majors.

She mentions  Danny to her vice president,  who simply shrugs with some hesitation. The other woman doesn’t know Danny, but the  quiet nature that Tristan describes worries her a little bit. Summer Society Sisters aren’t quiet or shy.

Tristan understands the concern, she really does. But she d oesn’t think Danny  _ is  _ shy.  Just reserved. The VP smiles good-naturedly and tells her president to go on and invite her to an event.

And  so she does. Tristan finds a way to invite Danny to a holiday party near the end of the semester. Danny's roommate has also invited her. A semester ’ s worth of pleading and the  two - prong invitation seem to work.

And Danny looks excessively uncomfortable nursing a drink , casting furtive glance s around the assembled students. Tristan finds it endearing, how little space Danny tries to take up. But she also knows there's a reason for Danny's evasion.

“You don’t look like you’re having any fun at all ,” Tristan remarks when she reaches the taller woman. Danny starts slightly. Tristan realizes for all Danny's been scanning the crowd, she’s actually a little zoned out. Danny relaxes when she realizes the one talking is Tristan.

“It’s not really my scene,” she says, shrugging a shoulder and ducking her head . Tristan smiles a little knowingly.

“Do you actually have a scene Lawrence?” she asks. It’s good natured but Danny blushes slightly.

“ No , I suppose not,” she mutters dejectedly. Tristan feels bad and nudges her with an elbow.

“Hey, no frowning , the holidays are coming. It’s like, illegal to frown around this time of year . I didn't mean anything negative by it. Just that you’re welcome here. Not just for parties,” Tristan says reassuringly. Danny still looks skeptical.

“Why?”  she asks. Tristan laughs and shrugs.

“I don’t know Lawrence. Something about you  makes me feel like you’d fit in here  well. If  you wanted to, ” Tristan replies.

Danny is chewing on th e unanticipated  invitation when Ashlynn suddenly appears in front of her .

“Play along, please, ” she begs. And Danny barely has a moment to register the words before  Ashlynn's  lips are on hers.

It’s almost sloppy and it tastes like  what  Danny will learn later is  P each  S chnapps. Ashlynn pulls away and fixes Danny with an affectionate grin and panicked eyes.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you all night,” she says brightly. Her eyes are pleading, begging Danny to understand. Danny  decides that Ashlynn's truth is her truth in this moment and forces her features to relax.

“Sorry babe, I was talking to Tristan. Have you met each other?”  F ortunately Tristan is n't an idiot and her smile is as bright and artificial as a neon sign.

“We haven’t had the pleasure,” Tristan chimes. Danny takes the moment to scan the crammed room again. She’s not sure what she’s looking for until her eyes land on a student she doesn’t recognize glaring daggers at her. The ir eyes lock and it’s a clear challenge. Danny feels a surge of protectiveness and in another uncharacteristic move, wraps her arm around Ashlynn's shoulder in a one - armed hug. The gesture feels comfortable, more so than she'd anticipated. She shakes the feeling and glances down at Ashlynn, who is leaning into her.

“Do you want to stay longer?” she asks. Ashlynn shakes her head quickly, eyes flashing panic again .

“No, I'm ready to go. If you don’t mind, at least,”  and her expression so desperately communicates she wants out that Danny squeezes her a little tighter.

“I’m ready when you are. Tristan, thank you. For  before. I…I’ll think about, over the break,” Danny says sincerely. Tristan  looks concerned.

“Do you want me to go with you guys? Or maybe some of the other girls. Really, it would be our pleasure,” she offers, standing straighter. Ashlynn wince s .

“Please, no, stay. I feel bad enough dragging Danny away. We'll be okay,” she insists quickly. Tristan makes eye contact with Danny who just nods.

“If you’re sure then. If either of you need anything at all, let me know,” she says. They nod and offer their farewells as they edge their way out of the party. Danny keeps her hold on Ashlynn and realizes her roommate is shaking slightly. She waits until they’re outside, away from the noise, before she murmurs, “what did that asshole do to you?”

Ashlynn exhales a shaky breath.

“ You saw him then?  He's my ex. We broke up a week ago. He’s a mean drunk and wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m sorry I jumped you,” Ashlynn  says apologetically . Danny shrug s .

“I suppose that's one way to remember your first college party,” she drawls with a  half-smile . Ashlynn stops walking and gapes at her dramatically.

“Danny Lawrence, did you just make a  _ joke _ ?” she asks. And Danny laughs and is about to respond when a  voice cuts across the grounds.

“Where  the hell  do you think you're going?” 

Ashlynn’s face pales.

“Shit. Okay, just keep walking,”  she  hisses.

“To where, he’s following us,” Danny responds. Danny's never been good at walking away.

“Danny, I don’t know what he'll do,” Ashlynn says. And it’s the genuine fear in her voice that makes Danny's expression  h arden.

“Stop walking bitch, I’m talking to you,” the slurred shout is closer and Danny can’t take it. She releases Ashlynn and turns to face the ex.

“ You got a problem?” she challenges. He pauses, drunken eyes shifting between the two of them.

“You’re her roommate aren't you? So what, you fuckin her behind my back Ash?” he yells,  fists clenching  tightly. He advances on them and Danny moves to  stand in front of Ashlynn.

She feels something here, a sense of duplicity. On the one hand she’s quiet Danny Lawrence  who never goes out or starts a confrontation. On the other hand, she’s the  girl who  learned how to fight because she hates bullies. Her new self and the old rear their heads and Danny begins to realize maybe she’s both.

It’s a subject for later contemplation. For right now the ex has  stomped forth and tried to shoulder past Danny. She pushes him back and away.

“ Back off!” Danny snaps.

“Kyle just go!” Ashlynn shouts.

“ You shut your fucking mouth, this is your fault!” Kyle shouts back. Again, he tries to lunge for Ashlynn. Danny intercepts him and they grab at each other's  clothing, pushing and pulling.

“Let me by, ” he snarls. Danny  doesn’t. Rather she digs her heels in and pushes him back forcefully.  He’s surprisingly coordinated for the amount of alcohol Danny assumes he's had. He manages to get his footing and lunge back, cracking a fist across Danny's cheek.

Ashlynn shrieks but Danny doesn't hear her. Something in her snaps  instead. She gets hit a few more times she’s  s ure, but it doesn’t register. H er vision clears finally when she feels Ashlynn pulling her back by the fabric of her jacket.

She looks at the ground to see Kyle in a whimpering heap.  Three figures are running at them full tilt from the Summer Society house. Danny heaves a breath through burning lungs.

“Danny, please,” Ashlynn cries behind her. Danny shakes her head to clear it, and glances up at Tristan when the woman and to other  S ummers reach them.

“Are you guys okay? Did he hurt you?” she asks, although  she’s realizing quickly Kyle is the one worse for wear. Danny lets out a sardonic bark of laughter.

“Yeah, we're fine,” she bites out. She can see wariness in everyone's eyes and it’s so, so familiar.  Worse, she knows she’s done this, scared them into being cautious around her.  She wants to run. She’s so tired of feeling like the freak.

“ Come back to the house and we'll patch you up. I’ll gave a word with the  Zeta president about his boy,” Tristan says, glancing at Kyle with disgust.

It’s too much. Danny shakes her head  quickly, holding up her hands placatingly .

“I need to get back to our room, I just need to…” and she doesn’t really know, she’s just stepping  back,  stopping only when she realizes she’s backed into Ashlynn. Ashlynn doesn’t move away, but wraps an arm around Danny’s waist.

“We ’ll be okay now,” she says firmly, voice strong, less terrified. Tristan  looks between the pair of them and nods once. She turns her gaze down to Kyle and almost effortlessly jerks him to his feet. The Summer s surround him and begin the march back to the house.

“Come on Lawrence,” Ashlynn murmurs, steering Danny away, back toward their dorm room.

It’s a half hour before Danny is showered and she’s settled on Ashlynn’s bed while her roommate gently dabs antibiotic ointment on skin that split as it connected with Kyle ’s face .

“So…that was …”Ashlynn starts , but trails off . Danny closes her eyes tightly and exhales slowly.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes quietly. Ashlynn’s brows furrow in  bewilderment .

“Sorry? For what?” Ashlynn asks.

“For losing control like that. I just…he was trying to get to you and he hit me and I just …”Danny pauses, her voice shaky. Ashlynn squeezes her wrist and Danny opens her eyes to meet Ashlynn’s.  Ashylnn’s expression is a little sad and exceptionally fond.

“Danny, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m the one who’s sorry. For kissing you like that without asking, for Kyle.  I’m sure I made everything worse, and I was just trying to get out of there. I was selfish, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there,” Ashlynn says quickly . Danny shakes her head.

“Don’t apologize for him, he doesn’t deserve it . And I’m you’re...I’m  you’re friend, I’m glad you came to me ,” Danny says. Ashlynn’s smile is crooked.

“The Summers won’t let him off easy, although I’m sure he’ll remember the beating he got from you for a long time,” she says. The corner of Danny’s lip curls up but drops just as rapidly . Tears  swell in her eyes and she shuts them again. Ashlynn isn’t exactly sure what’s wrong with her roommate but doesn’t ask. Instead she wraps her arms around her shaking shoulders.

“I’m a mess, I’m so sorry ,” she mutters thickly, eyes still closed.

“Don’t apologize Danny. Just…what’s wrong? I don’t understand,” Ashlynn says calmly. Danny is quiet for a long time. Ashlynn doesn’t press, sensing  it’s  something deep that’s shaken her usually quiet and reserved roommate.

Danny just hasn’t felt righteous anger like this in a long time. She’s always hated bullies. She let her older brother teach her how to stand up to them. But then she’d lost her brother , her whole family . And all that was left was hollowness and hurt. But tonight there was too much. It was anger, and passion and protectiveness and care . She  _ felt  _ again, and she hadn’t been sure she’d ever remember how. She felt a part of something and it felt good and terrifying and right. And suddenly, Danny’s afraid of the lonely isolation she’ s mastered .

“When I was a sophomore in high school, I lost my family in a fire. And I’ve…I’ve  kinda been on autopilot ever since. I got into a lot of fights. But I never…felt anything. And for the first time, tonight, it’s like I feel everything,” she says eventually. She feels Ashlynn’s lips kiss the crown of her head. Danny sniffs. She realizes she’s starved herself of affection,  is  desperate for it. She burrows into Ashlynn’s embrace.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to endure so much Danny. I can’t imagine what that was like. But…well, I’m glad you  decided it was time to feel again tonight. I really needed you, and you  were there,” Ashlynn says.

“How did you know? That I wouldn’t let you down?” Danny asks quietly. Ashlynn laughs a little and Danny feels the vibration through her head.

“I just did. There’s  just  something about you Danny Lawrence.  You make people feel safe.”

/

The first time Danny hefts a sword in her hand, the weight surprises her. She’s been swinging a quarterstaff around for the better part of her second semester at Silas and is surprised, when during Spring Break, Tristan tells her it’s time to try out the  edged  weapon.

She practices  drawing it from the scabbard at her waist for the better part of three hours. Her shoulder is burning with exertion and she feels just as clumsy as she did at the beginning of the semester when Tristan had insisted she  join the Summer Society.

The decision hadn’t been hard at that point. She’d been considering it all winter and when Tristan asked her, she said yes without hesitation.

The sisters accept ed her fight with Kyle as enough for admittance into their ranks and after that Danny rolls with the physical and metaphorical punches without many questions. She belongs for the first time in too long and that's enough for now.

On day  three of sword training, the last before classes start back up, she asks what in the world they need actual swords for. She almost expects Tristan to be offended by the question. Instead, she laughs.

“ Danny, have you noticed anything peculiar about Silas?” she asks. Danny shrugs.

“Nothing specifically. People walk around like there’s always something over their  shoulder, but I don’t know why.”

“That's a good way of saying it. But the reality is that there are several reasons people look  scared,” Tristan responded evenly. She offered Danny a bottle of water. The younger woman accepted gratefully.

“I don't get it, I've never seen anything ,” Danny responds, curiosity evident on her face. Tristan grins and it’s almost predatory.

“That’s because we're very good at what we do. Not perfect mind you. But pretty good. In order to maintain that, we need you excellent on the sword, ” Tristan says. She nudges Danny's leg with a nod up, indicating the break is over.

/

Danny realizes she doesn’t know fear until she goes into the woods around Silas the summer after her first year.

It’s darker than night and she can feel the woods watching her. Her skin crawls and her heart hammers away . Tristan had insisted repeatedly that Danny would be fine so long as she stuck with Tristan and the squad.  Danny can’t imagine a reality where she wants to actually wander away. The only other freshm a n there is a woman  named Mel she barely knows.

“Breathe Lawrence.  There are things out here that smell fear,” says Sam from her left. Danny glances at her with a scowl. Sam smiles, unruffled.

“We've got you Lawrence,” she says calmly. Danny feels just the barest hint of tension leave her. She’d been confronted on this; knew she needed to trust her…people? She’s not sure yet what word she wants. She feels that one day family might apply but at the moment the word  leaves her feeling panicky. She’s…just not ready. Not yet.

It’s the  shout from the scout out front that alerts them to the danger that befalls them from the trees a moment later.

A few of the older women, familiar with this kind of attack,  light flares, illuminating the forest.

Their attackers are goblins and Danny  is frozen in terror for the briefest moment. They’re small, three feet tall with leathery skin and razor - sharp teeth.

Danny’s stupor is interrupted by a goblin that jumps  at  her , teeth bared. She steps aside in time to avoid serious injury but not fast enough to avoid a scratch to her upper arm. She retaliate s without hesitation, swinging her sword in a downward arc that Tristan had drilled her on incessantly. The creature is cleaved at the collarbone and Danny decides now is not  the time  to question the violence but to meet it head on.

There’s a pyre  for the carcasses , when it’s over. All of the sisters are in one relative piece and Danny is fending off shock.

“But I don’t understand. Those were…they aren’t supposed to  _ exist _ . Fairy tales and horror stories,” Danny says. Tristan is glad  that  awe, more than fear, colors Danny’s voice.

“ They do exist. This is just the very tip of the iceberg as well,” Tristan says. There isn’t a scratch on her. She dabs Danny's scratches with an ointment that burns.

“But why here?  So obviously, fantasy… _ creatures _ exist. Why are they in these woods, at Silas?” Danny asks. Her logical brain is in overdrive trying to understand.

“We're not sure. Silas is old, and Styria is even older. Our thoughts are that something attracts the supernatural to this  area, to the campus. We do what we can to keep the campus  safe,” Tristan says. Danny stays quiet, processing.

“ What about the Dean? Why are  _ we _ doing this?”

The woman gathered go  qui et , eyes turned and fixed on Tristan. Tension fills the area and Danny feels distinctly as though she’s said something wrong.

“Danny, I’m going to say this once. You'll have questions. But you can’t ask them out here. Do you understand?” Tristan says cautiously. Danny glances at the assembled, notes their worry. She nods.

“We don’t question the Dean.  Ever. Not her, or her methods. We stay out of her  way. Always. Our concern is the safety of the campus and her students,”  Tristan says calmly. Danny has never heard  her sound so serious and nods  solemnly.

“It’s a matter of survival Danny. Just like everything else.”

/

Danny learns that there are more than just goblins that live in the woods around Silas. I n fact goblins are a lot like weeds. Once they get beat back every few weeks they stay gone for  a while . But there are other, nastier things. Danny thinks her least favorite are the ghosts. There's no fighting them, but they’re not shy making their presence known. Danny has more than one nightmare. 

In a twisted way, she doesn't mind them , though, interrupting her sleep . They're a break from the faces she never stops missing.

/

The first time Danny meets Carmilla  is brief and uncomfortable and she wouldn’t realize it  _ was  _ Carmilla until many years later.

It's the end of that first  summer, a few days before classes start. An alarm  is sounded just before sunrise  at the Summer Society house.  Danny scrambles out of bed. By now that the alarm means the squad on patrol can't handle the issue, whatever it is.

She’s running out toward the  forest when she sees her. At first, she thinks she's hallucinating.

Carmilla materializes in the mist like a specter made flesh. Her gaze  is hooded, her walk out of the forest slow and regal , mists swirling about her like an eternal, flowing ballgown . Danny thinks for a moment she sees red eyes. But it’s only a moment.

_ Ethereal _ . Danny realizes that the word  ‘ ethereal ’ was created for this creature in front of her. 

Danny draws up short, transfixed.  Carmilla stops walking and when her attention fixe s on Danny, her smile is slow .

A nd predatory .

A nd genuinely amused.

Danny’s skin  _ crawls _ .

“Where's the fire, Red?” she asks , a pointed look at Danny's head. Her voice is low and  smoky . Danny's breath catches. She doesn’t respond, she can’t. All she can do is stare.

She’s  spared from answering when she hears footsteps running up behind her. Carmilla's smile widens.

“I should’ve known you’d be along Tristan,” she says , voice almost teasing . Danny glances at her leader, instantly calming at her presence.

“You’re back early,” Tristan responds, voice hard. Camilla shakes her head slightly.

“No, I’m not back.  Just passing through. What has you so wound up this morning? It’s almost as though there's a crisis nearby,” Carmilla says. She sounds bored. Tristan tenses.

“Where are my girls  Karnstein ?” she asks harshly.

“Oh relax. They’re in one piece and tottering back as we speak. I heard sounds of a struggle and I intervened. On your behalf, might I add. I don’t appreciate your  skepticism,” Carmilla says. At the last sentence her tone hardens.

“My skepticism is well earned,” Tristan responds. She stares Carmilla down.  Carmilla doesn’t  change her expression in the slightest. She does shrug eventually.

“I’ll take my leave then. Red ,” Carmilla nods at Danny and backtracks into the forest.

It's only when she's out of sight Danny feels she can breathe again. She looks at Tristan who scowls into the woods.

“What… _ who _ was that?” she asks.

“No one you need to worry about. You probably won’t see her again anyway,” Tristan says. Her tone brokers no argument or further questions.

It isn’t until decades later Danny makes the connection  when her sisters tell her a large black panther was the one who made their escape possible.

/

Danny's second year at Silas begins completely differently than her first.  She stayed at Silas over that first summer and she’s mildly (and of she’s honest, pleasantly) surprised when  people are happy to see her upon their return to campus.

It's not that she didn't have friends before Silas.  But when she lost her family, she shut herself off from those around her.

Silas,  Trisan , Ashlynn, and the Summer Society pull her back into the open. She finds a semblance of a social life, where in addition to keeping the supernatural  forces from overrunning the campus, she meets up with people for lunch and dinner. She grows more invested in assisting  her peers in their English homework and eventually her professor asks her to be the TA for the next school year.

All in all? Danny decides her life is good. And it’s a relief when that thought doesn’t come with guilt.

/

The summer after Danny's second year at Silas is similar to the first. She  rest s , trains, teaches, and patrols. 

She isn't afraid anymore, like she used to be. She doesn’t try to hide in plain sight. Her confidence allows her to evaluate the fights critically and she notices  there’s an increase in frequency .

“Why are things getting worse?” she asks Tristan. They're in the trees and they've just dispatched a hoard of what Danny was sure were salamanders of the  fire-starting variety . No serious burns and the creatures retreated.

The older woman sighs and looks Danny in the eyes for a long time. Something about her seems different to Danny. Like she's older, almost outside of time. Like a tree in a forest; unless it's cut down, it’s always a  tree. Present, eternal.

“I admire you Danny. I admire your ability to see things as they are. Never lose that. Things are worse in the forest because this is how it’s meant to be. You'll understand, eventually , if you remember to . I won't be around Silas this year,” she says calmly. Danny's eyes widen.

“But, you didn't graduate, you're still working on classes,” she says quickly.  School starts back in a week.

“I know. But there are some things that we simply cannot avoid. Or undo. That, for me, means that I have to take a break,” Tristan says cryptically . There's a real sadness in her eyes. The longer Danny looks into them, the more she realizes this isn't a joke.

“Tristan, I don't understand. You’re the President here,” Danny tries to argue.

“That role  is Sam’s for this year. She was the one who really  championed your name for vice president. We couldn't help but agree,” Tristan looks as though she is trying desperately not to break  down as she speaks. Danny moves closer to her, heartbreak evident on her face.

(Tristan savors the expression for it’s brutal honesty and the trust it represents. Because she knows better than anyone that Danny doesn't let people see this side of her ever.)

“Why?” Danny asks finally.

“Because I  _ have  _ to leave. It isn't a choice. And the rules say I can't tell you why. But please know, I don’t want to go. Listen to me Danny. Things are going to get worse because it's what's meant to be. It’s always been this way, and likely always will be.  I tried, but I could only get the in between years.  Don't lose yourself , okay?  And don't let anyone tell you who you are or who you get to be. You're incredible. I learned to give up optimism a long, long time ago, but you give me hope,” Tristan forces out.  Danny doesn’t understand half of what the other woman is saying, but she gives up trying when Tristan moves c loser to Danny and pull s her down into a fierce hug and Danny is struck with the feeling they're saying goodbye forever.

“Tristan, what am I going to do without you?”  Danny asks sadly. Tristan chuckles, wetly, from unshed tears.

“What you’ve always done Danny. Fight bullies, endure, and thrive.”

/

Danny feels torn when she notices Laura for the first time. The  First year student is overprepared and overeager for the first day of class. She has plenty of questions and Danny notices her professor regards the young woman with  equal parts  mild amusement and exasperation . Danny’s immediate impression is that Laura is the type of person that charges into everything head first.

There’s a pull between the two of them, but Danny is unsure.  She knows she’s different now. She’s happier, her life has purpose. She’s fought alongside a new family, bled with them, won with them. But underneath it all,  Danny feels her broken pieces. She knows there are parts of her that will never be okay. Parts of her that are sad and angry in equal measure; a side she unleashes in the heat of battle.

Laura, or really, anyone, seems too …untouched for all of that. Danny feels as though she’s just too much to ask anyone to deal with. And so, she keeps herself away, at least at first.

But there’s a  _ pull _ she can’t help. And  neither can Laura, if she allows herself to be lieve in the longing looks and little flirtations.

/

When Carmilla reappears suddenly into Laura’s, and consequently Danny’s life, Danny can feel disaster on the win d .  Almost smell it, like a brewing st orm. When she looks back on that time,  it’ll be with a pang to her heart. Time passing doesn’t ever seem to ease the ache, despite how well things work in her favor ultimately.

She  _ hates _ Carmilla with a ferocity she’s never felt before. She wraps it up as best she can. Ultimately, she doesn’t want to hurt Laura, and Laura seems enthralled. But it’s  around  then she starts taking more and more solo patrols in the forests around Silas. 

“What you’re doing isn’t healthy,” Ashlynn remarks upon seeing Danny early in the morning after one such patrol. Danny is limping and avoiding twisting on her left side. Ashlynn, who is not a Summer Society sister but more of a welcome, honored guest by merit of association with Danny and  left - over favor from Tristan, is sipping coffee in the house kitchen at sunrise.

“ I haven’t the faintest clue what you’re talking about,” Danny shrugs (winces) as she reaches up to secure a mug from the c abinet. Ashlynn, by now used to  Danny’s tactics for avoid ance, largely ignored them.  She wait s until Danny  i s situated at the kitchen table, coffee and bowl of cereal  well on their way to being consumed before she drags her own chair over to Danny ’s left side. She tugs on the sleeve of Danny’s hoodie and dutifully, if with a little bit of an eye roll, Danny raises her arm. She can’t help the hiss of pain that escapes her.

“You do, you know exactly what I’m talking about,” Ashlynn says. She isn’t angry or chastising. She respects Danny’s intelligence. She knows Danny is fully aware of her choices and coping mechanisms. That’s part of why she’s so frustrated with her former roommate.

“Enlighten me,” Danny grunts, ignoring the  tickling sensation that courses up her sides as Ashlynn runs careful fingers over Danny’s already bruising ribs. This is another reason she’s welcomed at the Society house : she’s spent her summers getting EMT certified. Ashlynn is one of those people who just knows her home will be an emergency department at a hospital…somewhere. Goodness knows the Summers give her practice.

“You’re heartbroken over something that might’ve been. You r feelings are  also legitimately hurt, which by the way it totally justified. So you want to forget, but you can’t. So , you’re going into the forest by your stupid self and beating the crap out of anything that will fight you back,” Ashlynn says. She lays a hand flat against Danny’s side. Danny takes as deep a breath as she can manage. It hurts, but there’s no shooting, sharp pain.

“Nothing broken , you idiot. Sit tight,” Ashlynn says. Danny sighs, pushing the dregs of her cereal around in the bowl with little enthusiasm.

“ It’s driving me a little crazy Ash,” Danny finally confesses. Ashlynn returns with an ice pack wrapped in a towel. She presses it to Danny’s side . Danny flinches but settles into the cold.

“Why are you limping?” Ashlynn asks. Danny  snorts in derisive laughter.

“Because I tripped on a tree root,” she said. “I just smacked my knee pretty hard, no worries.” Ashlynn knows Danny has learned better than to lie to her.  So , she settles down back at the kitchen table.

“What  _ specifically _ is driving you crazy?” she asks, attention tuned in comp letely on her friend.

“All of it. The fact that Laura trusts  Carmilla . The fact that  Carmilla is a  _ fucking _ vampire. The fact Tristan knew about her and did  _ nothing _ ,” Danny has worked this last bit of information out on her own. There was too much familiarity between  Carmilla and Tristan that  morning  in the woods. Danny would bet money Tristan knew  Carmilla’s true nature. She couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t kill a vampire.

“I just don’t understand why  we’re completely dedicated to killing goblins, trolls, and the occasional wyvern infestation, but we just ignore the Dean and Carmilla,” Danny says dejectedly.

“Sometimes I think Tristan knew. That everything that's been happening is exactly what she was trying to warn me about.  How could she  _ leave  _ and just let us deal with Carmilla- _ fucking- _ Karnstein ?” Danny’s voice softened to something sad that made Ashlynn's heart ache.

“If Tristan left, it was because she had a good reason, particularly if she knew about Carmilla. She loves Silas. Loves you girls, loves you. She watched you like a mom watched their kid graduate into the first grade,” she replied, and smiles when Danny lets out a surprised laugh that softens down.

“I just. I don’t trust her . Silas made more sense before she came around. You're not supposed to be friends with whatever goes dump in the night ,” Danny says. 

“And the fact Laura’s taken a romantic interest in her has nothing to do with any of your  frustration , right?” Ashlynn asks pointedly. Danny scowls at her.

“ Of course it does. I really li-liked her. And I thought it was mutual. Even if it wasn’t, I’d still want to keep her safe but she doesn’t even understand  _ that, _ ” Danny sounds utterly d efeated . Ashlynn lays her hand over Danny’s in sympathetic solidarity.

“ Listen to me Danny . I think she’s a moron for passing up on you,” she holds up her  other  hand when Danny opens her mouth to protest, “No pe, sorry. You won’t change my mind on this. You’re protective because you want to protect the people you care about. You  know what losing  feel s like Danny , better than a lot of us ,” Ashlynn says gently.

“ It’s her loss. But she’ll realize that. This tension, with the Dean and the missing girls? It’s a powder keg. And it’ll explode all over all of us before it’s all said and don e. Now as far as  _ Carmilla _ goes, well. I’m actually a little more inclined to give her break than your crush,” Ashlynn says. Danny’s face scrunches in confusion and shock. Like she’s been betrayed and mortally wounded. Ashlynn laughs lightly.

“You’ve watched the videos right?” she asks. Danny nods slowly, unable to deny it.

“You really buy the “ all  too tragic for sock puppets” bit ?” Danny asks, genuinely curious. Ashlynn shrugs a shoulder.

“ I buy the pain in her voice and in her spirit when she talks about it,” Ashlynn replies. Danny swallows back the rest of her coffee, thinking. She buys it too, really. And if it weren’t for Laura, Danny might feel more inclined toward empathy where the vampire is concerned.  Danny knows what real heartbreak looks like; she recognizes the pain in Carmilla because in many ways, it looks a lot like Danny’s own.

“At the end of the day though, Danny, you can’t destroy yourself over them. If it’s meant to be, Laura will figure out how incredible you are. It’s impossible to miss. You’re loved and cherished. And maybe it’s not in the way you w ant right now , but those of us who  _ do _ love you  don’t want to see you hurt yourself over this. ”

Unexpected tears prick Danny’s eyes, but they don’t fall. Ashlynn leans in and kisses the side of Danny’s head and they sit quietly as the morning  brightens into day .

/

The first time Danny feels as though she’s not seen as  two different people is in the shared moment with Carmilla, watching Laura’s goodbye video. Carmilla looks at her and really sees her.  There’s an understanding between them. Carmilla knows Danny has a compulsion to do  the right thing. She also knows that Danny will do whatever is necessary. She sees Danny , and whether she means to or not, embraces all of Danny’s quality.

Her dark ‘see you at the violence’  takes for granted two things: 1) Danny will show up, and 2) Danny  will be violent.

There’s no fear or admonition. Just resignation to the reality that violence will be what is necessary.

There's something freeing being on the receiving end of Carmilla's confidence.  Carmilla doesn't look at her  with disdain or sarcasm, not in this crucial turning point. Instead, Danny's an ally. Every protective instinct in Danny flares and she goes home to grab her sword.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should've prefaced that all the tags on this pretty much apply to this chapter. Anyway, this is the other half. Enjoy!

Danny hates her wolf. Hates that it’s always there, in the recesses of her mind. It’s like having a song stuck in her head that is constantly directed at her. She can feel the wolf and its instincts, gnawing at everything she does.

It’s worse around the full moon. She’s filled with restless energy when the full moon approaches. It makes her irritable and snappish. Carmilla and Laura take it in stride. They’re patient and understanding. At best, it makes Danny feel guilty. But it also scares her, because it's so involuntary. She tells Laura that it's like holding back a a dog that constantly pulling on the leash. Laura laughs at the pun and kisses Danny’s pout away, reassuring her it’ll get better.

And for the most part, Danny believes her.

But there’s an incident, two years after her Turn. Danny snaps at Laura over something inconsequential. Danny’s tone is harsh and almost a snarl. Laura freezes in their shared apartment, not moving, just staring at Danny with wide eyes. Danny can smell her fear. The wolf rises to it, satisfied, excited by Laura’s reaction. Danny snaps herself out of the moment and runs away, bursting out of the apartment, knocking the doormat (‘wipe your paws’ it reads) before Laura can say a word to stop her.

Laura had been startled because Danny’s eyes had flashed amber, the wolf’s color. She was never afraid Danny would hurt her. But she doesn’t get a chance to explain.

She calls Carmilla instead, sobbing unintelligibly, begging please find her.

Carmilla finds Danny, hours later. She’s a bit of a mess, tucked into the shelter of large fallen tree. She’s red in the face, pouring sweat, clothes soaked through. Her muscles ripple and her eyes are flickering between blue and gold. Her arms clamp around her, tightly, keeping herself together, barely. Keeping the wolf in.

The vampire approaches carefully, cautious but without fear.

“What’s going on Red?” she asks, her voice measured. Danny looks up at her, eyes pained.

“You need to kill me,” she breathes out harshly, “please.” Carmilla is concerned, but not altogether surprised. Danny had been keeping it together fairly well since she’d Turned, but Carmilla was attributing much of that to their officially established relationship. She’s been expecting this argument to resurface.

“Care to tell me why?” Carmilla asks nonchalantly.

“Because it's a matter of time before I hurt someone. The wolf won't let me do it, Carmilla, so you have to,” Danny all but snarls.

The words hang heavy between them. Carmilla is a cold statue, eyes coolly calculating. She knows what Danny is confessing to and inwardly the thought makes her scream. But that's for later, when the tears and apologies come. But for now, it's cold detachment.

“Your wolf is the smart one then, good,” Carmilla says. Danny's face contorts with rage.

“I'm a monster. You have to end it,” Danny shouts.

“You'd only become a monster if you actually killed yourself while being too stupid to see what’s going on,” Carmilla sneers. The expression is old, the vehemence something she hasn’t felt toward Danny in ages. She knows she’ll have a plethora of apologies to make, but for now she wants a reaction.

And she gets one.

Danny roars and slams into her. Carmilla is expecting it. She falls back gracefully, plants a heel in Danny's gut, and as she rolls back, thrusts out with all of her strength.

Danny flies backward and hits the forest floor in an ungraceful heap. She scrambles to her feet again and charges at Camilla. Carmilla evades the onslaught of attacks easily. It's like fighting with a drunk person really. In this moment, Danny is all anger and animal brutality and absolutely no skill.

Carmilla handles her systematically, allowing her to wear herself out but not hurting her too badly.

Finally, when she sees tears of anger and frustration cascading down Danny's face, Carmilla allows the woman to grab her by the throat and pin her to the forest floor.

Carmilla is lucky she doesn’t need to breathe. Danny is still incredibly powerful and her hands would crush a mortal.

Carmilla allows Danny the satisfaction of feeling her neck in her hands. But she locks eyes with Danny too. They're so far from blue that Carmilla wants to cry. The bright gold glows in the dark and they promise murder. Carmilla just slides her hands to Danny's wrists and waits. She doesn’t pull. Just waits.

It's amazing, she'll tell Laura later, when they’re safe at home and Danny is asleep, to see the inhumanity bleed out of Danny's eyes. The blue returns then, creeping into prominence so that the gold is only circling her pupils.

She lets out a shuddering sob, releasing Carmilla's neck. Carmilla doesn't let her pull away, instead grabbing the collar of her shirt and pulling her down. Danny sobs harshly into Carmilla's neck and shoulder and Carmilla just runs a soothing hand up and down her back.

Eventually, Danny calms enough to be able to speak.

“Carm, I’m not strong enough for this,” Danny whispers.

“Well that's just not true,” Carmilla replies evenly.

“I could’ve hurt Laura, for a second I wanted to. I could've hurt you,” Danny whined.

“Could've, but didn't. Danny, it's dark out. Look at the sky,” Carmilla eased Danny off her, to point her face up.

A full moon shone bright, illuminating the world in monochrome light. Danny’s eyes fix on it.

“You wanted to die because you got scared. But this whole time you've been putting off your transformation. You're stronger than you have any right to be,” Carmilla whispered. Danny’s eyes just stayed locked on the moon, breaths coming harshly.

“You need to shift. And we'll handle the rest at home, together,” Carmilla says firmly. Danny turns to look at her, amber growing again in Danny’s eyes.

“Stay with me?” she asks softly. Carmilla grabs Danny's hand and kissed the back of it softly.

“Always.”

/

Laura launched herself off the couch the moment the door opened. Danny didn't have a chance to brace herself before Laura slammed into her. She let out a quiet ‘oof' and felt thin arms squeeze her tightly.

Laura nestled into Danny and just as Danny was recovering enough to squeeze Laura back, the smaller woman pulled back and smacked Danny's upper arm, making her yelp.

“What-

“Don't you ever do that to me again!” Laura started, her finger pointing up at Danny.

“Laur-

“No! You don’t get to just run away because you're scared. That's not how this works damn it,” Laura yelled. Carmilla walks pass them waving as she disappears into the darkened bedroom. Danny stares after her, pleading expression wasted on the back of her leather jacket.

Laura's hand fisted in Danny's hoodie, pulling her attention back.

“I know that so much of what you're going through is new Danny. I know. But we only get through it together,” Laura says firmly, pulling Danny down almost desperately. Danny takes a deep breath.

“Laura, I ran because you were scared,” she whispered. Laura's other hand came up to Danny's cheek, turning Danny's face up. Her blue eyes were sad and they tugged at Laura's heart.

“Danny, your wolf is scary. No listen,” Laura tightened her grip on Danny as she tried to pull away.

“But you just said-

“You're not listening, please,” Laura says pleadingly. Danny huffs but settles.

“Of course your wolf is scary, Danny. You're a werewolf. You're incredibly strong and cunning and dangerous. You're an alpha predator. But you know who fits every one of those descriptors?”

Danny stays silent, just waiting. Laura rolls her eyes with a smile.

“Carmilla does. Carmilla is a vampire and in general, vampires and werewolves are scary. But the thing is, I know you, both of you. Who you are as people. You're loving, and brave, and compassionate, and good. You are so good. I trust that goodness,” Laura explains. A couple of tears leaked out of her eyes as she smiles up at Danny.

“Was that a long-winded Narnia reference?” Danny finally mumbles out with a small smile on her face. Laura let out a choked laugh and pushes herself up to her toes to press her lips Danny's.

Danny sinks into the kiss with a whimper. A wave of relief washes over her and she clings to Laura. When they pull away from one another, Danny rests her head against Laura's, almost panting.

“You'd never let anything hurt me. Even yourself.” Laura said it like it was the most natural, reasonable thing in the world.

“You really believe that?” Danny asks.

“I do. I love you. Let me. Talk to me. Trust me. Please,” Laura pleads.

“Laura I’m so sor-

“Please don't, it’s okay. I forgive you, and I get it, okay? I do. Just don't forget you’re not in this alone okay?” Laura said. Danny just nods. Laura folds herself up in Danny's torso and Danny doesn’t have a choice but to wrap her arms around her tiny girlfriend.

“Hey? Are we all happy again?” Carmilla asked, sticking her head out of the bedroom, eyes half lidded and sleepy.

Danny and Laura laugh quietly together.

“Yeah Fangs, we’re good,” Danny responds.

“Excellent. Now can you both, please, get in the fucking bed?” Carmilla drawled.

“Yeah babe, we're coming,” Laura replied.

Carmilla disappears back into the bedroom and Danny was sure she heard the words ‘that'll be later’ muttered under the vampire's breath. Her smile just widens.

/

Danny becomes aware that she and her wolf share the space in her body. Some days, eventually, she barely notices the wolf. Or rather, she's just used to it. This is especially true when the moon is absent from the sky.

The animal instincts get stronger as the moon waxes. She pushes back against it. It's not out of hate, really. She learns not to hate the wolf and can admit the animal in and of itself is magnificent. She just hates the sensation that the wolf wants to overwhelm her, even when she hasn’t transformed.

And so they do this push and pull. The wolf tries to insert itself in her regular life and she tries to think human things when the full moon is out.

It’s six years after her Turning and the constant push and pull that she makes her first conscious transformation. It’d taken six years of near constant mental exercise to make her wolf almost literally ‘move over’ when she was in wolf shape, in the way the wolf forced her to move over in human shape.

It’s not that every other transformation has been mindless and suddenly there’s a snap, either. When she describes it later, she’ll say that it was a matter of holding onto her human self, longer and longer, while her physical body transformed. And finally, one day, she's able to insist that the wolf share, and not over run them with thoughts of hunt, and prey, and pack.

Carmilla knows it the moment it happens. She looks into the wolf’s face and sees Danny in its eyes and her face splits into one of the widest grins Danny’s ever seen.

That night they run and chase and play for hours, startling a herd of elk and chasing rabbits out of their sanctuaries. Danny finds she has to mentally withdrawal some from the hunt for food because she doesn’t think of food in the wolf’s terms and she’s aware of her spine curling disgust as the wolf gnaws on bones.

That morning, they get back elated, and Laura has exactly ten minutes to celebrate with them before Danny falls asleep. For three days.

It gets easier after that, and they go six more of those transformations before it’s just not so easy.

/

Laura looks confused when Carmilla returns to their apartment alone later that day.  
  
“Where’s Danny? I thought you were meeting her at the end of her class?” she asks. Danny is an adjunct literature professor and the school is letting her teach an intro. Carmilla scowls and stalks to the refrigerator to grab “soy milk”. She adds it to the lukewarm coffee she pours into a mug that says “mornings are ruff” with the outline of several dogs lazing about and sitting. (It’s Danny’s mug, a gift from Carmilla, a running joke that’s always funny. Laura doesn’t point it out.)

“She went for a walk,” Carmilla huffs and she shuts the microwave door just a little bit too hard and Laura winces at the sound.

“What happened?” she asks. She closes her laptop; her report can wait. She’s typing up the transcript of her first interview with the Alchemy Club. It’s supposed to be for a literary journal that’s published online. She sits up straight in her chair, turning her full attention to Carmilla. Carmilla leans against the counter, arms crossed tightly across her chest. Her jaw is clenched in anger, a muscle pulsating.

“Nothing,” she finally sighs. Laura fixes her with a stare. Carmilla rolls her eyes. The microwave chimes. She turns and retrieves her concoction. She fishes a spoon out of the dish washer, which Laura insists they use as a drying rack (she swears adamantly that this saves water and therefore money. Danny and Carmilla decide the argument isn’t worth the grief).

“Fine. I did pick her up. We were walking and talking. Red said something about leaving Silas. I wasn’t fond of the idea. She got mad, and she left,” Carmilla snaps out. She’s angry, but Laura knows it’s not at her. She’s not even sure she’s angry at Danny.

“Do you not want to leave Silas?” Laura asks cautiously, deciding on that avenue as the safest. Carmilla looked up, almost as though startled by the question.

“Of course, I do. I’ve been very fortunate to see a lot of this world. And I’d love to do that with you and Danny. And I don’t have to keep coming back every twenty years,” Carmilla responded as though the notion she would want to remain on the campus were entirely absurd.

“But,” prompted Laura. Carmilla looked at her, exasperated.

“But Danny also happens to be a baby werewolf! Am I the only one capable of remembering that?” she asks. Laura feels the first pricklings of understanding.

“I don’t think Danny of all people can forget,” she says quietly, not entirely sure why she feels compelled to defend Danny but willing to do so all the same. Carmilla shakes her head.

“That’s not what I meant,” Carmilla says, considerably less bite in her voice.

“Then what do you mean?” asks Laura. The corner of Carmilla’s mouth quirks in a half smile. Laura’s been tutoring fledgling English and Journalism students and it shows. She’s not challenging Carmilla, there’s not even the barest hint of provocation in her voice. She’s just pushing her to express herself.

“I’m just worried about the prospect. Danny’s only consciously transformed a half dozen times now. That’s it, out of out of six years' worth of transformations. That’s hardly a wealth of evidence to suggest that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out,” Carmilla said. Laura contemplated her words.

“Did she say that she wanted to leave now?” she asks after some silence in which Carmilla sips on her iron-rich coffee. Carmilla pauses and thinks for a moment.

“No, not specifically. But she was excited you know? As though it was something that could happen soon,” Carmilla said. Her anger was abating the longer she poured over her and Danny’s conversation, slowly being replaced by a gnawing sense of guilt.

“And how did you respond to that?” Laura asked, even though she was already beginning to suspect. Carmilla glanced away, eyes conflicted. Laura got up from her seat at the worn kitchen table and padded over to Carmilla. She pulled the mug out of her hands and wrapped her arms around her. Carmilla buried her face in Laura’s neck, gripping the back of her shirt tightly. They stood still, Laura running a soothing hand up and down Carmilla’s back.

“I think I fucked up Cupcake,” Carmilla whispered, turning her head so that her chin rested on Laura’s shoulder.

“What happened?” asked Laura again. Carmilla heaved another sigh.

“She was just talking. And suddenly she was talking about life away from here, and I think I might’ve panicked a little. I told her that we couldn’t risk it right now, that it wasn’t safe. She pushed back,” and Laura chuckled slightly, because Danny always pushes back. “She reminded me that she wasn’t a mindless beast, a monster. And I snapped without thinking and,” she paused and swallowed thickly. The memory made shame swirl in her gut uncomfortably and she was resolutely not proud of herself, “and I said that we only a few months’ worth of evidence to prove that,” she finished quietly. She felt Laura tense.

“Oh Carm,” Laura said woefully. Carmilla pulled away, squeezing her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I know, I know, it was awful. But I didn’t mean it that way,” she said emphatically, gesturing with open hands. “I’ve never thought that she was a monster, how could I? I mean look at me, at what I’ve done. I was just... I just did what I always do and spoke without thinking and didn’t take the chance to clarify,” she finished miserably.

“Why did you get so upset about the prospect? I mean, I don’t think any of us envisioned still being here, especially after what happened with your mother,” Laura says.

“Just because I know Danny isn’t a monster doesn’t mean the rest of the world does,” she says vehemently. There’s an unexpected fire in Carmilla’s eyes.

“Carmilla, I don’t understand,” Laura finally says.

“If we are going to leave Silas, then we need to know she isn’t going to hurt anyone. We have to be sure. Because if she does, one, she’ll never be able to live with herself and more importantly it’ll attract attention. And people will come to hunt her. I will never forgive myself if she gets hurt because we weren’t careful enough,” Carmilla says. In that moment, a deep sense of affection for Carmilla swells in Laura and she kisses the vampire on the cheek and then chastely on the lips.

“That, my stupid beautiful vampire, is what you should’ve said to her,” Laura says gently. Carmilla pouts.

“I know. I get it, I really do. I just panicked,” Carmilla said.

“And forgot that not everything has to happen right now,” Laura said.

“Yes, that too,” Carmilla scowled. Laura smiles.

“I’m sure that there was probably room for Danny to seek clarification,” Laura suggest, trying to be fair.

“Yeah, maybe. But she's been, I dunno moody lately,” Carmilla admits grudgingly.

“You’ve noticed too huh?” Laura said with a small frown. Carmilla sighs.

“Yeah. It’s not any one thing. She just seems on edge and ready to be angry about everything. And, god, I don’t mean that as an excuse for anything I said,” Carmilla says quickly. She's troubled by Danny's moods recently. Danny is supposed to be the level headed one of the group. Carmilla doesn’t want to consider what the gradual change potentially means.

Laura kisses her again, lingering this time. She knows Carmilla doesn’t really agree with her, that Danny might’ve been able to help in working it out, but she doesn’t care. Carmilla is an expert in harboring guilt and Laura refuses to reinforce bad habits.

“You have to tell her all of that you know,” Laura says when they break apart for air. Carmilla nods, looking positively crestfallen.

“I know. But I think I’m going to wait, give her some time,” Carmilla says. Laura spares a worried glance at the calendar. It’s a full moon.

“I know,” Carmilla says again, correctly interpreting her concern, “but I think she might literally try to bite my head off if I find her now.”

“I trust you. I trust Danny,” Laura says simply. And the sentiment cuts through the chill that’s settled on Carmilla since the expiration of her anger.

/

It wouldn’t be until much later, years later, with Carmilla curled up into Danny’s side around a fire on a cool autumn night, that Carmilla would tell Danny the full account of that particular conversation with Laura.

For now, Danny, anger pouring off of her in hot waves, disappears into the forest. She knows she can be a hothead, she knows that she should be more patient. She knows that recently patience seems outside her grasp more often than not. Moreover, she knows Carmilla well enough to know that she says things she doesn’t mean. But she’s angry, and her reasonable, logical brain isn’t in control as she loses herself in the thick brush and foliage of the woods around Silas.

Sunset and darkness can’t come soon enough and when they do, Danny immediately sheds her human appearance, reveling in the strength and power of her wolf. She’s viciously satisfied to realize that she remains wholly Danny as she gallops through the woods on heavy paws.

She spends a decent amount of time just running. She allows the scents of the forest, pungent in the damp summer, to fill her nostrils. She smells animals, scurrying away cautiously in her wake. Larger game bolts fearfully into the depths of the forest. Earth and wood and leaf smells are there too. She can feel the pulse of the forest around her and it’s wonderfully alive. She swears that, when she’s still, she can feel the trees grow, their roots reaching down and out and their trunks stretching up toward the sky.

She has no interest in being still right now. Right now, she just runs and lets her heart and feet pulse at the same beat.

She runs so long that by the time she stops for water, she’s not entirely sure where she is. It is pitch black out, and the night air is welcome as she catches her breath. She’s calmer now, more centered. Despite herself, she realizes that she misses Carmilla. This is the first time she’s ventured into the woods, into a transformation, without the vampire. She catches herself hoping the vampire would’ve come for her, but knows her behavior earlier would’ve warned her away entirely. She pushes the guilt away in favor of savoring her current form.

There’s a certain sense of satisfaction in knowing, resolutely, that her mind, her actions, are her own. But the victory is hollow, without the panther there to affectionately rub its head against the werewolf’s with pleasure.

In her musing, Danny’s highly sensitive nose smells something distinct cut through the forest smells. Ears twitch in the originating direction and slowly, Danny moves toward it. She knows the smell. It’s the smell of a kill. Blood and the absence of life. Danny has often thrived on that smell. But there’s something missing, something she’s used to smelling when she smells a kill.

It isn’t until she’s moved deeper into the forest for about a half hour that she realizes that the scent she’s missing is fear.

And the realization comes at almost the exact moment she hears the distinctive thwack of a crossbow string smacking against a stock. She moves instinctively, dodging to the left.

Instinct. Something she realizes that she’s been suppressing since the first whiff of the smell. Human curiosity pushed her forward, ignoring the other smells in the forest (humans), the stillness of the other creatures who lived there (predators).

Mercifully, the bolt doesn’t connect with her skull as originally intended. But it lands home at the base of her neck, near powerful shoulder muscle.

Danny howls her agony and she rolls, snapping the bolt under the force of her body. The injury is burning, and for a moment the pain of it disorients Danny to everything around her.

It’s silver you idiot her mind hisses at her.

Danny lurches to her paws as the shouts of several men fill her ears as they surround her. One rope and then another are tossed over her back. They burn too, and for a moment, she’s overwhelmed.

She can’t understand them. They’re not speaking English or German, she thinks. Thinks. Something inside her awakens then. And it’s Instinct. It’s the Wolf. And despite the terror of her predicament, Danny knows then, with the clarity of a lake on a cloudless day, that she isn’t a woman trapped in a Wolf’s body. She’s a Werewolf. Human and Wolf. Together.

The Wolf is screaming at her to stop thinking damn it and work on fucking surviving.

And her world focuses. She twists and turns savagely, despite the pain lancing over her body. She dodges another crossbow bolt and swipes at one of the men, disarming him of his weapon and opening a deep gouge in his forearm. The Wolf cries for sacrifice, wants to tear, wants to rip, wants to bite.

Danny viciously turns from the man. Human and Wolf together.

The men came equipped. She does well enough considering she doesn’t regularly practice fighting in this form. But they’re ready for her. And all of their weapons contain silver. She lunges for two of them, knocking them over deftly, but a dagger drags across her hip, slicing through her with little resistance. The dagger is lost in the foliage in the motion.

She turns on the remaining two. Another silver arrow grazes the left side of her face and a sword opens up a deep cut on her left front foreleg.

But they drop too. Their weapons are scattered and they’re injured and it takes more willpower than she knew she had, but Danny pulls away from the men despite Wolf’s desire to sink its teeth into flesh at the smell of fresh blood.

She crashes through the trees, following the way she came, lumbering, limping, delirious. She just wants to be home.

/

The sun rises. It assaults Laura’s eyes and she turns her head away from it, burrowing it into Carmilla’s shoulder. They’d fallen asleep on the couch, anxiously awaiting the dawn in anticipation of their other lover’s return. Carmilla had dozed in and out of sleep, unsettled and uneasy and unsure of why. She nudges Laura in the ribs and the small human squeaks her protest.

“Come on, let’s get ready and go out,” Carmilla says, bestowing a kiss on Laura’s brow. Laura senses the tension in Carmilla’s body and shifts to look at her with bleary eyes.

“Carm?” she asks with the hint of hesitation. Carmilla shakes her head slightly.

“I just need to find her,” she responds. Laura nods and gets up.

They reach the woods almost thirty minutes later with no hint of Danny anywhere. Carmilla’s back is rigid with tension. This isn’t right. She and Danny have their spats. They always have. But Danny doesn’t stay gone. Carmilla thinks desperately that she should’ve gone after her despite her misgivings. Because what if something happened? What if Danny needed her?

“Hold on,” Laura says. They’d driven, despite the fact they don’t live far off campus. Danny has a tendency to be exhausted the mornings after her transformations. Laura goes to the trunk and extracts a backpack. Carmilla knows it’s filled with food and water and emergency medical supplies. Laura just shrugs at her and Carmilla hopes desperately they don’t need the supplies.

Carmilla doesn’t say a word as she enters the forest. Anxiety radiates off of her and she just needs to move. The first sign of something really wrong is when they find Danny’s clothes at the base of the usual tree but no Danny. Carmilla gathers the clothes up in her arms and continues walking forward.

They’re well inside when she finally catches a scent of Danny. And blood.

“Something’s not right,” she says to Laura. Laura grasps her hand.

“What do you mean?” she asks, resolutely keeping the fear out of her voice.

“With Danny. I don’t know what, but it’s not right, she shouldn’t be,” but Carmilla’s voice trails off. She and Laura proceed into the woods more quickly. And twenty minutes they get to a clearing next to a creek that she and Danny frequent often and all the breath rushes out of Carmilla’s dead lungs.

“Shit, Carm,” Laura whispers.

Because there’s Danny, next to the water, breathing heavily, a bloody mess, still in her Wolf shape. Carmilla moves forward without thinking and in an instant is on her knees by Danny’s head.

“Fuck, Danny, Danny, can you hear me?” and the Wolf’s ear twitches and pain filled bleary amber eyes look up to meet Carmilla’s brilliant green ones.

“Oh Danny, what happened?” Carmilla breathes out, voice catching.

“Carmilla, what do we need to do?” asked Laura. Carmilla can hear tears being choked forcibly back. Carmilla looks down Danny’s form, taking in the injuries that are still bleeding sluggishly. There are spots on her back, distinct lines, where fur has been burned away, burned into the skin underneath. She lets her eyes continue to wander until she sees an injury at the base of Danny’s neck, near her shoulder, that oozes blood that’s almost black. Carmilla leans in and sniffs deeply, letting the odor coat her nose and the back of her throat and she gags.

“What is it?” asks Laura.

“It’s like her blood’s...poisoned,” Carmilla looks up at Laura, looking stricken as an idea occurs to her.

“Silver,” she says. She runs her fingers over Danny’s fur, whispering soothing things in German as Danny whines in pain at the attention. The other injuries, while concerning in that they haven’t yet healed, are all cuts or burns. Everything except that neck wound. That’s a puncture wound.

“I think she’s got silver embedded in her shoulder here,” she says pointing, “It’s why she isn’t healing, why she didn’t turn back. We have to get it out, it’s poisoning her. It’ll kill her.”

Laura nodded fervently. Carmilla makes a quick decision, looking up at Laura resolutely.

“You have to get it out. Use the knife in the bag. Go behind her head to do it. I’ll hold her head still and keep her from lashing out with her claws,” Carmilla said firmly. Laura looks for a moment like she wants to argue. But she sees the determination, knows the futility of her protest. She leans down and kisses Danny’s snout. Danny whines, cheeks puffing out.

Carmilla gathers Danny’s head into her lap, caressing her it gently, avoiding gash on the side of her face. She leans down, her face close to Danny’s ear.

“I’m so sorry. This is my fault. You’re safe now okay? We’re going to set you right, I promise. I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her voice choked. Danny presses her head more resolutely into Carmilla’s lap.

Laura returns with the knife that she’s drenched in rubbing alcohol to sanitize it. Carmilla glances up and Laura sees the rawest form of hurt and anguish and regret she’s ever seen on Carmilla’s face. She kisses the vampire’s forehead as she kneels behind Danny. Carmilla and Laura nod once to each other and Laura sets the knife tip against the entrance wound.

The sound Danny lets out is so anguished that tears immediately begin to flow from Laura and Carmilla’s eyes.

“It’ll be over soon, she has to do it, she has to,” Carmilla says over and over again. She knows Danny is there, that she hears. Because she howls and whines and grunts, but she doesn’t bite. And she doesn’t claw at anything but the damp earth. And she doesn’t thrash.

And after the longest three minutes any of them have experienced, a very bloody, very jagged arrowhead is eventually pried free from Danny’s body.

She shudders violently the instant it happens. Carmilla continues to hold her while Laura throws the arrowhead into the water. And slowly, in the slowest transformation she’s ever suffered, she reverts back to human shaped Danny.

She’s sobbing and Carmilla just holds her, looking up to Laura with pleading eyes. Laura brushes Danny’s disheveled hair from her face and lets her fingers scratch gently against Danny’s scalp. The motion, always soothing in the past, helps to calm Danny down.

“Danny, baby, we have to get you home okay? We can’t take care of you here. Let us get you up and home okay?” Laura says when Danny’s sobs calm to whimpers. Danny nods almost imperceptibly.

“Okay, good. Good, you’re safe now okay?” Laura says. Slowly she and Carmilla get Danny up and carefully supported between them. Their progress out of the forest is slow and punctuated by soft whimpers and near stumbles. Carmilla doesn’t say a word just keeps walking. When they finally reach the forest edge, Laura leaves the other women while dashing away to the Jeep they all went in on. Laura has a defiant little to hell with it moment before she drives the Jeep out of the lot and onto the grass, pulling right up to where Danny and Carmilla are waiting.

/

Danny very slowly becomes aware of her surroundings. The first thing to assail her senses is smell. She discerns faint traces of coffee and chocolate and rust.

Not rust.

Blood. And with the blood is old parchment paper and ink and lavender and soap.

It’s a combination she’s used to, one she come to associate with the feeling of home. Next is texture and that comes with the realization she’s on the couch and not the bed. She’s on her back and there’s a blanket covering her, although her right foot is sticking out from underneath.

She savors the fact that she’s clean, free from dirt and blood, although her memory of how she got that way is foggy. She lies there, just feeling, content to let her aches and pains roll over her because she knows she’s safe.

Eventually, she blinks open her eyes and tries to sit up. Because fuck taking it easy.

Laura, sitting vigilant in the armchair across from the couch, notices the movement and with a yelp launches herself forward and to Danny’s side in an instant. Before she can help herself, her arms wrap around her torso. She’s mumbling something Danny can’t discern.

“Laura, sweetheart, I can’t hear you,” she says. Her voice is rough and dry. She coughs and grimaces. Laura instantly pulls back and reaches for a water bottle that’s waiting on the coffee table. She helps Danny sit up and Danny gratefully swallows from the bottle.

“Danny, I was so scared,” Laura says mournfully. Her eyes are huge and shiny and her cheeks are tearstained, but no tears fall now. Danny hands her back the water and after it’s secured safely on the coffee table, she pulls Laura to her. Her body aches and twinges. She’s not healed yet, not at all, but she wraps her arms around Laura tightly anyway.

“What the heck happened?” Laura asks, her voice thick. She shifts so she’s sitting next to Danny, albeit not quite as close as she wants to. The puncture wound sits in the hollow of her right collar bone, and so that shoulder it wrapped and mobility limited by bandages. Fortunately, it’s her right forearm too that was cut so deep, making that side off limits. The cut to her hip is on the left though, so Laura satisfies herself with clutching Danny’s hand and arm securely.

“Hunters,” Danny says, shaking her head. “It was my fault, I was...distracted. I let myself be lured into a trap. They had silver weapons, and ropes with silver in them, that’s why my back is burnt,” she says with a small grimace. There’s really no comfortable way for her to settle at this point.

“Wait, were they waiting for you?” Laura asked in a harsh whisper. Danny closed her eyes and fought to keep her voice steady.

“They pulled a fucking Return of the Jedi on me. Lured me in with fresh, dead meat,” Danny said with a shaky voice. “I was an idiot. Carmilla, she would’ve never. Never let me fall for it.” Laura is quiet for a while, stroking the back of Danny’s hand with her thumb. She savors the feeling of old scars and veins that still work.

“Danny, I know you and Carm got into an argument,” Laura says gently. Danny sighs, looking away.

“It was stupid. I overreacted, I’m sure,” she says. Because she doesn’t want to get into how her unwillingness to talk led to her stupidly traipsing through the forest.

“No you didn’t. She told me what she said to you. And I get your reaction, you had every reason to be angry with her,” Laura says. Danny shook her head.

“Yeah, but running off never solves anything, and in this case just made it worse. I know better, I know she doesn’t mean some of the things she says,” Danny says quietly. Because she does know, of course she does. She loves Carmilla and Carmilla loves her. It’s one of the few things she knows for sure.

“That doesn’t make them hurt any less,” Laura says reasonably. Danny raises an eyebrow at her.

“Why are you trying to justify my behavior? This isn’t pity is it?” she asks. Laura laughs. She raises Danny’s hand to her mouth and kisses the palm.

“No, Danny Lawrence, it’s not pity. I’ve never pitied you. Although maybe someone should seeing as how you willfully joined all of this crazy,” she said. Despite the protest in her hip and back, Danny leaned over and placed a firm kiss to Laura’s lips, which Laura eagerly reciprocated, weaving her free hand into Danny’s long hair to hold her in place. They parted, panting slightly a moment later.

“I wouldn’t trade either of you for anything in the world,” Danny says, and the sincerity, the finality, of the statement almost scares Laura. Almost. Really, it sets her heart racing, like the plunge on a rollercoaster.

“I love you,” she says in reply.

“And I love you. And speaking of love, where’s Carmilla?” Danny had noticed early on that the vampire wasn’t in the room, but could no longer avoid the obvious answer, and she was wondering if the absence should concern her. Confirmation came in the form of Laura’s downcast eyes.

“Laur?” Danny asked, dread pooling in her gut all of the sudden.

“She helped get you back. Made sure you made it in. She cleaned you up too. It was easier for her to manage in the shower I think, because she’s so much stronger,” Laura said evasively.

“Laura, where is Carmilla?” Danny asked. Laura sighed.

“Once she made sure you were settled, she looked at me and said ‘I have to know,’ and she left. It was all very cryptic and broody,” Laura said. She still wasn’t meeting Danny’s eyes, but the resignation was real.

“What exactly did she have to know?” Danny asked, voice tense.

“I really don’t have a clue,” Laura said sadly.

“She probably wants to know if I lost it and bit anyone,” Danny grumbled, her dark mood from the previous day flaring up.

“Danny don’t. She doesn’t believe what she said, you know that,” Laura said in a pleading tone.

“Yeah, but she’s not here to tell me that is she?” Danny says glumly. Because that’s really what the issue is. She’s not here. And Danny misses her, has been missing her for what feels like hours and days and centuries.

“She’ll be back Danny,” Laura says firmly. Danny sighs, wills the fight to leave her, and deflates a little. Being awake is painful. Laura leans up and places a kiss to Danny’s temple.

“Just try to rest some okay? I’m going to get you something with blood in it and we can watch something funny and you can just relax for a while,” Laura says. There’s so much pained hope in her voice that Danny plasters on a smile. She knows it looks forced, and Laura knows it is. But they both also know that Danny won’t be okay until Carmilla is home and the pair just talk.

“That sounds good. Thank you,” she says with as much gratitude as she can inflect.

/

The room is dark when Danny opens her eyes with a start. She’s fallen asleep on the couch again. Laura has tucked her in. She forgets why exactly she’s on the couch (to prevent her from rolling over) and tries to sit up too quickly. All of her muscles seem to pull and she’s instantly hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness.

“Lie back, slowly,” instructs a low, smoky voice. Danny knows that voice, but she can’t focus yet. Cool hands on her neck and shoulder help her ease back down. Her body, seeming to catch up with her intentions, eventually settles down and she can breathe without wanting to retch.

She looks up at Carmilla, perched on the edge of the couch, illuminated by the moonlight that lances in through the window and its undrawn curtains. Carmilla, for whom she’s longed for hours. Maybe her entire life.

“Hey Red,” the vampire says quietly. Her voice is small, and a little unsure. Unsure in a way it hasn’t been in years, since their relationship was new.

“Carm, where were you?” Danny asks. She’s still in pain and feeling lousy and so she can’t keep the tone of accusation out of her voice. What she means is why weren’t you here with me?

“I had to find the ones who hurt you,” Carmilla answers, running her thumb over the lines in Danny’s forehead.

“To see if I bit them?” Danny asks bitterly. Carmilla’s eyes flashed red in the darkness.

“I would’ve been happier if you’d ripped them apart,” she says, her voice deadly. “They didn’t deserve to be left so intact.”

“Carm,” Danny says, unsure of what to say, of what Carmilla is feeling. Its moments like this that Danny is sharply reminded that Carmilla isn’t just the woman she loves. She’s a creature of the night, something different and entirely dangerous. Carmilla takes deep breaths and when she speaks her voice drips less murder.

“I had to know who they were, what they were about,” Carmilla says quietly.

“And?”

“They’re hunters. I found their camp. It’s well away from campus. The little I overheard suggested that they specialize in a number of different creatures, not just werewolves,” Carmilla says quietly.

“So they’re...alive, still?” Danny asks lamely.

“They’re alive. If you didn’t kill them I certainly couldn’t, even if they deserved it. I think they believe they’ve killed you,” Carmilla says with a little bit of bitterness.

“They nearly did,” Danny whispers after a breath.

Carmilla takes a few moments to quietly study Danny’s face and as she does, her own expression softens sorrowfully. Her hand twitches, as though to reach for Danny’s, which rests only inches from hers, but she stills it.

“Red, Danny, I’m sorry,” she starts. Danny suddenly finds she doesn’t want to hear Carmilla’s apology.

“Listen, Carm,” she tries to interrupt, but Carmilla holds up a hand.

“No, please. I need to say this okay? Please,” she asks again. Danny nods for her to continue.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m sorry I ever implied that you’re some kind of beast or monster. You never have been and I’ve never believed you to be. I got scared when you were talking about leaving Silas. But it wasn’t because I was scared you’d turn into something you’re not,” Carmilla paused, glancing away and back.

“I was scared of exactly what happened last night. That someone would catch wind of you and try to hurt you. Try to...take you...away from me,” Carmilla said. Her voice was still quiet, but it was choked. She sniffed and wiped her eyes furiously.

“And I’ll never let that happen Danny. Never. I shouldn’t have let you go alone last night. I shouldn’t have believed the lie that we’re aware of all the evil that can potentially hurt us in those woods. It’s my responsibility to protect you,” and before she can get another word out, Danny reaches up and pulls Carmilla down to her. Carmilla tucks herself into her werewolf, burrowing her face into the crook of Danny’s neck. Danny wraps her right arm around her tightly.

“I’m okay Carm, really. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine, I got lured into a trap. You were right, I’m not ready to leave Silas yet okay? I’m still adjusting to conscious transformations. I learned that the hard way,” Danny said, desperate for Carmilla to absolve herself.

“And it isn’t your responsibility. We take care of each other, the three of us do,” Danny says. Carmilla’s hand sneaks up and rests lightly around Danny’s neck. An involuntary growl starts and immediately dies.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Carmilla says seriously. Her thumb gently strokes Danny’s pulse point. “But the flip side of this is an almost visceral need to keep you safe. To keep all of us safe.”

Danny swallows but doesn’t say anything. She finds a strange feeling of security in the pressure of Carmilla’s fingers on her neck. She doesn’t squeeze and the gesture isn’t aggressive. If anyone else (expect perhaps Laura) were to try it, they’d likely lose a hand. But with Carmilla, she feels grounded. It’s in the magic that binds them and she doesn’t question it, doesn’t want to.

They exist that way for a time, Danny holding Carmilla close.

“Are we okay?” she asks when the sun is again beginning to peak over the horizon. Carmilla lifts her head enough to look into Danny’s eyes.

“Yeah. We’re okay Red. And we’ll do better,” she says. Danny nods.

/

The next day, sometime in the late afternoon, finds Danny and Carmilla sitting side by side on the couch, watching Laura pace. It’s been going on since Laura called a family meeting twenty minutes ago. She’d provided refreshments (coffee and blood for her supernaturals and just-the-way-nature-intended hot chocolate for her), but she hadn’t touched hers yet.

Carmilla was using the ‘mornings are ruff’ mug while Danny was using Carmilla’s ‘expecto purrtronum’ mug. Carmilla leaned over as the twenty-five minute mark was approaching and asked Danny in a stage whisper, “Do you think she remembers we’re here?”

“She,” interrupted Laura, eyeing both the women in her life pointedly (they had the good grace to appear chastised), “Is acutely aware of your presence.”

“Are you planning on scolding us?” Danny asked. “We’ve made up.”

“No, you’re both adults. If you hadn’t made up by now, I would be losing my mind on you a little bit,” Laura answered.

“This isn’t what losing your mind looks like?” Carmilla asked skeptically. Laura’s eyes flashed toward her.

“Oh no. You would be absolutely aware if I was angry at you,” Laura promises. Carmilla busies herself with her drink.

“So what’s going on?” Danny asked. Laura stopped pacing and turned to face them.

“I think that you both touched on something important yesterday. Leaving Silas,” she says. Carmilla stays quiet.

“Didn’t we establish yesterday that I’m not ready for that? I was tricked into a trap,” Danny said. Without a word, Carmilla’s hand found Danny’s knee and squeezed it reassuringly.

“That was because you’re still learning balance, you said it yourself over breakfast,” Laura replied. “If you’d been more accepting of the Wolf and yourself as the Wolf, your instinct and intellect would’ve worked together to alert you to danger.” Laura’s tone isn't accusatory. In fact, she’s simply reciting Danny’s own theory. But Danny doesn’t see the point.

“Obviously I agree. I’m not ready,” Danny says.

“But, you could be, with practice,” Laura said. Her eyes were shining as though she could see something brilliant.

“Cupcake, don’t you think it’s a little soon to be jumping into this? Red hasn’t even finished healing yet,” Carmilla said gently. Carmilla had explained that the injuries would take longer to mend because of the silver that had been introduced into Danny’s bloodstream. Danny had scowled.

“Listen, I think yesterday was a wake up call and we should see it that way. The point is, in your argument from yesterday?”

Carmilla and Danny both winced.

“You were both right. Carmilla has every right to believe that people will try to hurt Danny, and yesterday was unfortunate, coincidental proof. But Danny is right too. We don’t have to stay at Silas for the rest of our lives and we shouldn’t.”

“I'm sorry, I’m not following at all,” Danny says wearily. Laura groaned in frustration.

“Danny is at risk no matter where we are. We don’t have to sit at Silas and wait for people to come find her. Or you for that matter Carm. We’re kidding ourselves if we think it isn’t a matter of time before more come. And we can do something meaningful while we’re at it,” Laura says. It’s now that Danny and Carmilla catch on that there’s a catch to Laura’s enthusiasm, that it’s not just about getting away from the campus that has been home for so many years.

“Laura, what are you talking about?” asks Carmilla warily.

“Stay with me on this... Supernatural Specialists,” Laura says. She’s holding her hands out like a performer who’s made some kind of elaborate reveal. Carmilla and Danny just stare at her.

“What do you think?” she eventually has to prompt.

“You want us to be like those bastards from yesterday?” Carmilla asks, voice low. Danny’s hand covers the one on her knee.

“No!” Laura exclaims. “No, they were straight up looking for a werewolf, trying to kill it, regardless of whether it had control or was hurting people. I would never. But what about all the supernatural stuff that does prey on innocents? Of those with supernatural dispositions that don’t have any kind of support system?” Laura says, her expression vibrant and eager.

“Are you saying you want to hunt werewolves that hurt people?” asks Danny with a hint of incredulity.

“Yes, but that’s not all. We live in one of the most magical places in the world. Like real magic, not Disney magic. There aren’t just werewolves and vampires. Are there Carm?”

Carmilla’s smile is small and knowing as her sips her coffee.

“You know there’s more out there. I mean, Danny you’ve been fighting weird things in the woods for years,” she says. Despite all the red flags in Carmilla’s head that are insisting this whole thing can go horribly wrong, she finds herself intrigued.

“So yes, werewolves and vampires that go out of their way to hurt others. But also vengeful ghosts that haunt places and refuse to move on. And whatever else exists, like demons or hags or poltergeists,” Laura goes on. Carmilla and Danny cast side glances at each other. They know, despite the sheer lunacy of the idea and the high likelihood of injury and mishap, there existed no argument that would dissuade Laura from this train of thought.

“So we’re like Van Helsing?” interjected Danny. Laura’s eyes brightened even more.

“No he was specific to vampires,” Carmilla mused. “Also, that family wouldn’t appreciate us stealing the name”.

“Ghost Busters?” rejoined Danny.

“Also too specific,” Carmilla replied. Danny snapped her fingers. “I got it. We’re basically the Scooby Gang. Except our bad guys aren’t going to be secretly human.”

“Are you serious? You’ll do it?” Laura asked, eyes wide and shaking with excitement.

“Well we could try to stop you. But I think that would just result in text messages requesting fire extinguishers and help ASAP,” Danny said with a smile. Laura squealed and launched herself onto the couch to wrap them both in a hug. Carmilla and Danny held their mugs up and away and Danny instantly hissed and winced and Laura hastily apologized and Carmilla rolled her eyes and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for Reading!
> 
> (Also and semi-random, this work and series titles are inspired by song titles by a group called Delta Rae (let's collectively ignore the fact I messed up the lyrics when I named the first work and my pride won't allow me to change it.)


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